just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
