I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
love makes seman taste better
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
