okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
