My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
