isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
