I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
