I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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