hotel room ftw
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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