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i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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