There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
