he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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