I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
