I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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