So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
