If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize