When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
