Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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