I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I will pee on everything he values.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
