I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
