You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
