Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
