i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
