"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
It's official drugs can't kill me
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
