well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
