We're facebook friends in real life
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
It was confusing and full of hummus
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
