But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
