well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
