Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
