I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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