O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
