Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize