I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
