I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
