I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
