i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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