Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
