walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
