i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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