Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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