omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
