the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Your penis caused this!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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