I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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