Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
