so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Randomize
