Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
P.S. I can't hear my feet
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
