I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
