so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
How external is "for external use only"?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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