I wanna bring you to show and tell
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
