We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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