my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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