Jerry, you need to find god
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
