Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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