I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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