There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
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