Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
